Where It Began
As far back as I can remember, I have kept a diary or a journal of sorts—a secret place where I processed my emotions, the goings-on of my life, my prayers and hopes, wishes and dreams. I love revisiting old journals (some more enjoyable than others) and witnessing, in a very tangible way, how I have grown. In a world that glorifies likes and shares, we seldom celebrate the slow and steady progress—the incremental shifts that ultimately alter a lifetime.
In 2004, I came to know Jesus in a deeper way, and journaling became a lifeline—a spiritual, creative, and emotional necessity. The habit of checking in with my heart and mind, reading, and then writing things out helped me immensely. Self-awareness and self-reflection felt good and produced fruit in my life. Writing my prayers out was the most beautiful thing—I could see God with me in the highs and lows of my life. He was not just OK with my mess being a page away from my prayers; He was present in both in a very real way. No need to pretend; no secular or sacred; no mask needed. A thriving spiritual life and a vulnerable, open heart were proving to be a life-giving combination.
I grew in my friendship with God during those years, owning His word over my life like never before. When I look back, I see the foundation laid in my heart and how powerful a tool journaling is.
I learned that I am a verbal/external processor—one of my great strengths and weaknesses all wrapped up in one. Journaling has helped me process with God, with myself, and then with others—often in that order. Running to Him first has saved me some heartache (not all, but a lot), and I am convinced it will continue to do so. The time spent in my journal is precious and, above all, brings me great joy!
I have found God in creativity—in art, poetry, songs, psalms, and even (and especially) in my own scrambled thoughts on paper—He has shown up.
Sometimes you lose something to truly gain it. This was the case for me in 2013. I experienced a series of unfortunate events: a breakdown in our church community, relational breakdown with friends, my parents both being diagnosed with cancer within two weeks of each other, and a renovation accident that left me in ICU for two nights (while I was 8 weeks pregnant with our baby girl)! It felt like a nightmare, yet amidst it all, we were blessed with our precious daughter Ruby in 2014. She was truly a shining light in a dark season. Before I fell pregnant with her, I had a dream about her. In the dream, there was this little dark-haired beauty reading my journals. Her name was “Asia” (which means sunrise and resurrection). It profoundly impacted me. I knew the Lord was giving us a daughter who would herald a sunrise and a resurrection in our hearts in areas we didn’t even know had died.
Ruby Asia burst onto the scene of our lives in June 2014, and I carried this vision deep within me. I realized I could leave a legacy for this little girl—for both my children. Not products (my beautiful leather journals filled to the brim), but a process (and many processes)... I see now how she came to wake us from the slumber that pain had brought. Much of this legacy would be what she would witness in the everyday of our lives. Me and the Lord. Me living with an open, vulnerable, soft heart before Him, my family, and others. That takes work. One of the main ways that happens is through my journaling: it’s my commitment to staying in love with The Lord, loving my husband and family well, and living in my truest identity—my daughter-of-God-self.
I use my journal to document my dreams (the sleeping and awake ones), keep encouraging words, study The Word, and most of all, record God’s voice in my life. It’s a space to practice gratitude, which is life-changing in every way, and other times to record my heartaches, confusion, and disappointments. I use it to process places where I am stuck—in anger, frustration, or irritation. I don’t shy away from the mess. Stuff gets real in my journal, and I hope that never changes.
In 2015, a highlight of my life was going on a retreat in the woods of Sophia, North Carolina—at ‘A Place For The Heart,’ run by the legendary and incredibly special Jonathan and Melissa Helser and their one-of-a-kind team, The Cageless Birds. I will forever be grateful to God for that experience, for them, and for what they taught me. The retreat was life to my soul—a place where some deep wounds got healed and where my passion and creativity were reignited. I moaned to Melissa that I had no time to journal—with two small kids and all. Her piercing eyes locked mine, and she spoke straight—like only Melissa Helser can. She said something like, “when did you stop getting real with God, with yourself, and with others? That’s why you stopped journaling—not because you are busy.” She was totally right. I couldn’t journal because I couldn’t get real about what was hurting. I am happy to say that has drastically changed since that day. Thank you Melissa x
My journaling workshops are a creative and inspiring space for anyone wanting to get real—with God, themselves, and others. A place to get tools that will help you journal, process your inner landscape, and dive into the depths of your heart—because when you give it the attention it deserves, you reap the rewards. “Above all else, pay attention/keep your heart with all diligence/for everything you do flows from it” – Proverbs 4:23.
I started running these workshops in my home, around my dining room table. In the eight or so years since, they have developed a life of their own, and I’ve found myself being flown around the country to speak about journaling. It still amazes me that I get to do this—take the thing I love doing and share it with others. I am currently studying further with The Centre For Journal Therapy and the Therapeutic Writing Institute in the USA.
